He is a victim too...

The past shows that domestic violence against men has been a part of society for a long time. And different sources say that domestic violence against men has something to do with the patriarchal view of society, which says that men are the stronger gender and are to blame for all violence against women. In the past, women had fewer rights or were seen as less important than men, and they were expected to serve them. Men can be abused in their own homes through physical violence, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, or sexual abuse. No matter what your situation is, though, you can find help and get out of an abusive relationship.

Domestic violence against men by a man's intimate partner is rare. Even though domestic violence against men has not gotten as much attention as domestic violence against women, it does happen. It happens in almost every society, though to different degrees. There is a lot of silence, fear, and shame that comes from abuse in families and relationships. This makes it hard to do studies that try to describe violence in terms of gender. This is why most cases of domestic violence against men are not reported. People have also said that the different results could be because men and women report violence differently.

A survey in Canada (2004) found that only 6% of men were physically or sexually abused by their partners, while 7% of women were. Domestic violence against men is not always easy to spot, but it can pose a serious threat. Know how to tell if you are being abused and how to seek help if you are. Also, in a survey of 16,000 Americans, 22.1% of women and 7.4% of men said that they had been physically hurt by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, boyfriend or girlfriend, or date at some point in their lives. Furthermore, over 21,000 people in England and Wales were said to be involved in domestic violence. A survey by the UK Home Office found that 7% of women and 4% of men were victims of domestic abuse. Domestic violence against men in Africa has been getting worse over time. For example, in 2011, almost 500,000 men were beaten by their wives in Kenya, which is a worrying sign of violence.

It is comprehended that women can be violent in close relationships and sometimes kill their male partners. However, in most relationships, men are seen as aggressors and women as victims. Feminist theories of gender inequality point out that men are more likely to use power and control over women because women are seen as less important in society as a whole, and that men who beat their wives have beliefs that are reinforced by society. There are many feminist theories about why men abuse women in heterosexual relationships, but most of them agree that men do it to keep power and control over them.


Causes of Domestic Violence against Men:

The one or most true reason is lecuna in domestic violence laws against men and the myth that society believes about it. So, it keeps the abusive partner going until he cannot take it any longer. Another question that comes up is, "Why do women commit domestic violence against men?" The answer can be the simplest or the most complicated one. Women become abusers because, as the saying goes, "women can and have the same capabilities in every way." If we look at what causes domestic violence against men, we might find:

  •       Women also greatly increase the likelihood with men in alcohol stakes.
  •       Not listening to what the wives say.
  •       The myth is that men are coached not to hit a woman.
  •       Infertility of men.
  •       Not helping out with housework with a partner.
  •       Inadequate earnings.
  •       Being unfaithful to wives and so on.

Why Men Do Stays In Abusive Relationships?

Even though domestic violence against men is a big issue, it is not taken as seriously as it should be and is dealt with less quickly. And this man who has a pattern of being careless stays quiet. What male victims have to deal with:

  • To show that he is, in fact, a victim (the fear of not being believed).
  • Fear that they will not be able to see their children.
  • Fear that society will lead to bias.
  • Services are less likely to ask a man if he is a victim of family violence and to believe him if he says yes.
  • Fear of being put out on the street.
  • They may not know where to look for help or how to do so.
  • They are likely to be told that they must have done something to make the abusers act that way.
  • Fear that his children will be safe and will not be the next ones to get hurt.
Protecting yourself is Important

Seeing as violence against men is one of the worst ways that human rights are broken. Domestic violence against men happens everywhere and to all kinds of people, so it is important to understand it, relate to it, and do what you can to stop it. Even though laws against domestic violence protect both men and women in most countries around the world.

The effects of seeing or experiencing domestic violence or abuse may be psychological. Reaching out to others is the first step toward getting help and ending the abuse. Contact a domestic violence hotline or talk to a trusted friend, family member, or another person. You have not failed as a guy or a spouse if you acknowledge the issue and get assistance for it. You are neither at fault nor feeble. Sharing facts about your abuse may be the first step in constructing a claim against your abuser, in addition to providing a sense of relief and much-needed support.

If your partner is abusive, they may attempt to drive you into retaliation or use force to get away from them. You might face jail or eviction if you react against your attacker. Obtain a copy of each police report after reporting an event to the authorities. Do not forget to document any incidents of abuse with exact times, dates, and names of any witnesses. It is important to have both a picture record of the injuries and a written record from a medical facility or doctor documenting your injuries. Keep in mind that medical staff is less likely to enquire whether a male is a victim of domestic violence, therefore it is up to you to make sure that the reason for your injuries is recorded.

Counselling, therapy, and domestic violence support groups may help you leave an abusive relationship. You may feel numb, distant, and difficult to trust others. After an abusive relationship, it might take time to get over the pain and negative memories, but you can heal and go on. Even if you are ready to get into a new relationship and eventually have closeness and support, take it gradually. Know the red flags of a new partner and how to develop healthy relationships.


References:

Adebayo, A. A. (2014). Domestic violence against men: Balancing the gender issues in Nigeria. American Journal of Sociological Research, 4(1), 14–19.

Arnold, G. (2009). A Battered Women’s Movement Perspective of Coercive Control. Violence against Women.

DeKeseredy, W. S., & Dragiewicz, M. (2007). Understanding the complexities of feminist perspectives on woman abuse: A commentary on Donald G. Dutton’s Rethinking domestic violence. Violence against women, 13(8), 874–884.

Enakele, Alkauthar. (2019). Domestic violence against men: prevalence, implications, and consequences. Social Work: Experience and Methods. 24. 29-43.

Gremillion, H. (2011). Feminism and the Mythopoetic Men’s Movement: Some Shared Concepts of Gender. Women’s Studies Journal, 25(2), 43.

Langford, L., Isaac, N. E., & Kabat, S. (1999). Homicides related to intimate partner violence in Massachusetts 1991–1995. Peace at Home.

Rankine, J., Percival, T., Finau, E., Hope, L. T., Kingi, P., Peteru, M. C., & Selu, E. (2017). Pacific peoples, violence, and the power and control wheel. Journal of interpersonal violence, 32(18), 2777–2803.

Shackelford, T. K. (2001). Partner-Killing by Women in Cohabiting Relationships and Marital Relationships. Homicide Studies, 5(3), 253–266.

Smith, K., Coleman, K., Eder, S., & Hall, P. (2011). Homicides, Firearm offences and intimate violence 2009/10 (Crime in England and Wales). Home Office Statistical Bulletin.

Sugg, N. K., Thompson, R. S., Thompson, D. C., Majuro, R., & Rivara, F. P. (1999). Domestic violence and primary care attitudes, practices, and beliefs. Archives of Family Medicine, 8, 301-306.

Tjaden P. and Thoennes, N. (2000). "Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women". National Institute of Justice, United States Department of Justice.

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